Communicating Your Needs and Preferences

Being able to communicate your needs and preferences is an important part of getting the right support. When the people around you understand what works for you and what does not, they are better able to help in a way that suits you.

This guide offers some practical tips for communicating your needs. It is general information only — what works for one person may not work for another.

Explaining What Helps You

People cannot always guess what you need. Being clear and specific about what helps you can make a real difference.

For example, instead of saying "I need help with cooking," you might say:

• "I can prepare the ingredients, but I need someone to be nearby in case I need a hand with the stove."
• "I'd like to cook with you rather than have you cook for me, so I can learn."
• "I find it easier to follow a recipe with pictures rather than text."

The more specific you can be, the easier it is for the other person to understand and respond to your needs.

Preferred Communication Methods

Everyone communicates differently. Some people prefer spoken conversation, while others find written communication easier. Some people need extra time to process information, and others use communication aids or devices.

Consider letting people know:

• Whether you prefer to talk in person, on the phone, by text or by email
• Whether you need information written down or sent to you after a conversation
• Whether you prefer short, simple sentences or more detailed explanations
• Whether you need extra time to think about your response or make a decision
• Whether you use any communication aids, such as a speech-generating device or a communication board

For example, you might say: "I prefer to receive important information in writing so I can refer back to it, and I'd appreciate it if you could send me a summary after our meetings."

Asking for Clarification

It is okay to ask someone to repeat, explain or rephrase something if you do not understand. In fact, asking for clarification is a sign of engagement, not a sign that you are not paying attention.

Some phrases that can help:

• "Could you explain that in a different way?"
• "I'm not sure I understand. Could you give me an example?"
• "Could you slow down a bit? I want to make sure I take this in."
• "Could you write that down for me so I can think about it later?"
• "What do you mean by [term]?"

You should never feel embarrassed or apologetic about asking for clarification. Good support workers and professionals will welcome your questions.

Involving a Trusted Person

Sometimes it can help to have a trusted person with you when communicating your needs. This might be a family member, friend, support worker or advocate. They can help you:

• Remember what you wanted to say
• Take notes during conversations
• Speak up for you if you find it difficult
• Help you think through decisions

If you want someone with you, let the provider or professional know in advance. You can also ask them to explain their role at the start of the meeting.

Advocacy services can also support you to communicate your needs and understand your rights. The Disability Gateway can help you find advocacy services in your area.

Self-Advocacy

Self-advocacy means speaking up for yourself and your needs. It is a skill that takes practice, and it gets easier over time. Some tips for self-advocacy:

• Be clear about what you want and need
• Use "I" statements, such as "I need..." or "I would prefer..."
• Stay calm and respectful, even if you feel frustrated
• Ask for time to think if you need it — you do not have to make decisions on the spot
• Follow up in writing if something was agreed verbally

For more on your right to make decisions about your own life, see our guide on understanding choice and control.